Unhooking from thoughtsYou are not your thoughts

0:04When thoughts hook you

Our minds produce thoughts all day long. Some are painful: I'm not good enough, something bad will happen, I can't do this. When we treat those thoughts as facts, or as orders, they can pull us around.

Unhooking, sometimes called cognitive defusion, comes from acceptance and commitment therapy, or ACT. It means stepping back to see a thought as a thought, words passing through your mind, rather than the truth about you.

0:34Ways to unhook

Add a few words in front of it. Instead of, I'm a failure, try, I'm having the thought that I'm a failure. Notice the little bit of distance that creates.

Name the story. Oh, here's the not-good-enough story again. You don't have to argue with it. Just recognize it.

Thank your mind. Thanks, mind, for trying to protect me. Then bring your attention back to what you were doing.

1:03Leaves on a stream

Let's try it. Rest your eyes, or let your gaze settle on one spot. Picture a gentle stream, with leaves floating by. Each time a thought comes, place it on a leaf, and watch it float away. If you get caught up in a thought, that's okay. Notice, and come back to the stream. One more leaf. Let it drift out of sight.

Thoughts come and go. You can notice them without holding on.

1:58Back to what matters

The goal isn't to get rid of thoughts, or to think only positive ones. It's to loosen their grip, so you can put your energy into what matters to you.

2:09Getting support

If painful thoughts are constant, or hard to step back from, talk with your care team. Therapies like ACT and CBT can help.

And if you have thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988, any time, day or night. Those thoughts deserve real support, not just a skill.